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From inside the actors studio...

Answer these 10 questions

1. What is your favorite word?

2. What is your least favorite word?

3. What turns you on?

4. What turns you off?

5. What is your favorite curse word?

6. What sound or noise do you love?

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

1. What is your favorite word? gravitas

2. What is your least favorite word? nigger

3. What turns you on? A hot chicks nice beer bottle ass

4. What turns you off? Toothless strippers

5. What is your favorite curse word? Bloody Cunt

6. What sound or noise do you love? A good quif blast

7. What sound or noise do you hate? My ex wifes voice

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Rock star

9. What profession would you not like to attempt? Sky diver

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? We’ve been expecting you

1. What is your favorite word?
Schmecklehead

2. What is your least favorite word?
Alcoholic

3. What turns you on?
A toned ass in a thong.

4. What turns you off?
Body fat

5. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck

6. What sound or noise do you love?
My kids laughing

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
My kids crying

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Pro Wrestler (in wrestling’s hey day)

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?
Restaurant owner

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
I’m proud that you lived a life in which you were willing to help others.

2. What is your least favorite word?
Alcoholic

funny, munch, i thought it was your favorite.

ummm...no

it is a fake, made up word used to describe a cult member.

1. What is your favorite word?

Doodle

2. What is your least favorite word?

Hussein

3. What turns you on?

Boys

4. What turns you off?

Girls

5. What is your favorite curse word?

Forfuckssake

6. What sound or noise do you love?

Crack of a bat

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

Any gathering of two or more black women. Deafening

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Person who decides who receives welfare

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?

Hustler

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

"Yes, it does matter how much money you had on Earth"

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

"Yes, it does matter how much money you had on Earth"

Completely made up for answers 1, 3 and 4. NTFF.

1. What is your favorite word?

Omphaloskepsis

2. What is your least favorite word?

"like"

3. What turns you on?

Fit women in spandex shorts.

4. What turns you off?

Fat women in spandex shorts.

5. What is your favorite curse word?

The word women can't stand precisely because they can't stand it.

6. What sound or noise do you love?

Crackling fire.

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

Test signal for the Emergency Broadcast System.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Attempt? Bull rider.
Reasonable assurance I could do/survive? Judge.

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?

DJ.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

I get your first beer. After that, you know where it's at.

1. What is your favorite word?
pusillanimous

2. What is your least favorite word?
"whatever"

3. What turns you on?

sideboob

4. What turns you off?
sidegut aka pooch

5. What is your favorite curse word?
jizusfknkriest

6. What sound or noise do you love?
elastic recoil of a bra coming undone (gotta listen carefully)

7. What sound or noise do you hate?


8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Writer for the Eagles so I could tell it like it is.

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?
miner

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You ARE on the guest list.

1. What is your favorite word?

FUCK

2. What is your least favorite word?

WHATEVER

3. What turns you on?

HOT CHICKS IN BELLY SHIRTS

4. What turns you off?

NEAG

5. What is your favorite curse word?

SEE #1, 2ND FAVORITE IS CUNT

6. What sound or noise do you love?

EARLY WHO

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

STYX

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

RESTAURANT OWNER

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?

COAL MINER

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

I FIGURED SINCE THE EAGLES FINALLY WON A SUPER BOWL YOU WERE READY TO COME UP.

I think the sound I hate most is a ringing telephone. I'd have to give the others some more thought.

Holy crap Jules. 2 same answers??

1. What is your favorite word?

smellum'

2. What is your least favorite word?

y'all

3. What turns you on?

anklets

4. What turns you off?

bright red hair

5. What is your favorite curse word?

dickbag

6. What sound or noise do you love?

leaves rustling

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

cotton balls being ripped apart

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

airplane pilot

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?

airplane pilot

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

"don't even worry about it"

1. What is your favorite word? muddle (place name-Tuktoyaktuk, Canada)

2. What is your least favorite word? proactive

3. What turns you on? short haired women

4. What turns you off? ashtray breath

5. What is your favorite curse word? motherfucker

6. What sound or noise do you love? typing or the impact wrench they use to change tires

7. What sound or noise do you hate? the yelp of wounded dog

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? middle school teacher

9. What profession would you not like to attempt? air traffic controler

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "The game's on, the beer's in the fridge. Orientation's at 10am tomorrow." or "Surprise, you Atheist twit."

1. What is your favorite word?

HappyHour

2. What is your least favorite word?

Irregardless

3. What turns you on?

A nice chest, and I don't just boobage. Calves win honorable mention. Sexy voice hits the podium.

4. What turns you off?

Talking too much/not listening.

5. What is your favorite curse word?

Fuck.

6. What sound or noise do you love?

The soft crackle of keys on a keyboard. Think of the scene beginnings in "And the band played on".

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

Amateur Fireworks.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

General Contractor or Professional Golfer or Sharapova's masseuse.

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?

3rd World Coal Miner.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?


Sorry about that "Super Bowl in your lifetime thing with the Lions, but everything else worked out".

1. What is your favorite word?
- Balderdash.

2. What is your least favorite word?
- Rural (impossible to say)

3. What turns you on?
- Underboob/reverse cleavage.

4. What turns you off?
- Naked lady with socks.

5. What is your favorite curse word?
- Assholeface.

6. What sound or noise do you love?
- Creek/River.

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
- "Yip" from small dog.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
- Chef.

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?
- Working the window at the DMV.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
- "Eh...sorry, guy. We'd like to let everyone in, but the Scientologists were the only ones who really nailed it"

1. What is your favorite word?


2. What is your least favorite word?
When people use "AX" instead of "ask"

3. What turns you on?
A nice tight ass in a thong. NOT that giant kim kardashian fat shit

4. What turns you off?
Tattoos

5. What is your favorite curse word?
"what are you shittin' me"

6. What sound or noise do you love?
The sound of "ummmm" when the my chick is sucking on the old knob.

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
The bass thumping coming from rap music being played on some white boy's modified Honda Accord

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Hedge Fund Manager

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?
Exterminator

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Glad your home...

1. What is your favorite word?

My Daughter's name

2. What is your least favorite word?

Homework

3. What turns you on?

Im goin to avoid detail here and just say that if anyone ever doubts the existence of God- just look at the female form, just look at that- and tell me again that there's no God.
Man.

4. What turns you off?

Bad Breath.


5. What is your favorite curse word?

Hate to admit this but it's "F". Just so fitting at times.

6. What sound or noise do you love?

The waves crashing down the shore in fall, rough/choppy water.

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

My mother's voice, callin out my name from another room.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Resturant owner/good speller.

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?

Whats my current title?

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

I think I would like to know that the entire time im down here effing up, and really screwing up and gettin in my own way, that he would just smile and nod, lettin me know that he still loves me and understands that Im just a dumb human who's so given to mistakes etc.

Edit for Seth's #10:


"Welcome, Seth, glad you made it. But Glenn was right the whole time about you bein' batshit crazy".

NTF

1. What is your favorite word?
annihilate

2. What is your least favorite word?
a phrase actually, "a whole nother"

3. What turns you on?
redheads

4. What turns you off?
Tattoos, gaudy jewelry, too much makeup

5. What is your favorite curse word?
C-U-Next-Tuesday

6. What sound or noise do you love?
The clinking of beer mugs after a toast; "The Victors"

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
The voices of Jersey girls; "E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles"

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Professional hockey player

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?
Teacher

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Come on in... Joe (my late grandfather) is saving you a seat"

Dino, without question...despise that expression. Its almost Seinfeldian how it was a reason for me to break up with a girl. She didn't get how I found it dismissive and rude. I didn't give a shit what she thought....and finally came around to her way of thinking known as the Isle of Whatever.

NEAG....def funny shit on #10.

1. What is your favorite word? Food

2. What is your least favorite word? prejudice

3. What turns you on? Hot women who cook (Giada!)

4. What turns you off? Buck-toothed women

5. What is your favorite curse word? Bitch

6. What sound or noise do you love? The thump of bass coming from a Honda Accord's trunk

7. What sound or noise do you hate? Whiny people

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Professional assassin

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?
Country music band roadie

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "We know you think you're a superstar and you can just show up when you feel like, but we've got a battle for Dominion to wage! Now get your uniform on and get in there!"

God welcoming Fred at the Pearly Gates....

My son I've decided in order for you to “settle up” for your sins against mankind you will be roadie for Willie Nelson for the next year or until he drops dead. After that first year with Willie you must then be a roadie for Garth Brooks. My first contemplation was you could help the road crew for Shania Twain but upon further consideration I decided Willie and Garth would be a better fit for you.

I’m sure you will “feel the love” from hearing, “On the Road Again”, and “You were Always on my Mind,” from Willie and "Friends in Low Places" from Garth night after night.

Yeeeeehaaaaaa!

1. What is your favorite word?
Integrity

2. What is your least favorite word?
Boff (instead of "both")

3. What turns you on?
Stilettos

4. What turns you off?
Ignorance

5. What is your favorite curse word?
phrase:worthless piece of shit

6. What sound or noise do you love?
Thunderstorms

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
Chucky Cheese (need I explain)?

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Criminal psychiatrist (CIA/FBI level)

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?
concierge

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
There's a reason why I kept kickin' your ass when you were down there....

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