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Anyone ever gotten a blumpkin?

oh hell yeah.

My buddy came in my room where my two other friends and I were drinking. This dude was proudly proclaiming how he was having this girl come over. We in turn told him that’s cool, but he cut us off and said he was going for a blumpkin and told us to stay in the room so she wouldn’t know. Of course we laughed sooo hard it hurt, None of us had even known of someone attempting the blumpkin… I swear I had goosebumps.

When she came over, he convinced her that someone was passed out in his room so they went to the bathroom. Mind you the bathroom is right next to my room, so we had front row audio of the whole thing. She started to go down on him to the best of my knowledge but the fireworks started to happen when we heard her say, "Um, what smells like shit?"

My buddy calmly and somewhat proudly replied, “I pooped. Um, I was just all excited and, it popped out.” We were rolling and she continued with "OMG, did that really just happen? I think I’m going to leave. Wow!"

He was like, “so let me get this straight. I just pooped while you were giving me oral pleasure…" Unfortunately, their conversation sorta tailed off until she left. Once she was gone, we laughed all night long and we are GLADLY taking our buddy out for a great steak dinner to recognize his feat of bringing the blumpin dream to reality.

I've found that it's hard to control yourself for the simultaneous release of both front and back.

Usually, one goes before the other leaving both parties disappointed

wait, neag, youre saying that it's hard to have an orgasm without releasing your bowels at the same time?

NO, I am saying that it is hard to do just that

I can't believe we haven't seen SECTION in this thread yet

this is a thread? I thought it was just an eaglegurl/NotoriousEAG sex chat transcript.

Care to share any of your wilder experiences, Dino?

Not really. Nothing as "wild" as you I'm sure. I had a pretty good run in the late 80's though.

I thought you were in a band

yes, but that doesn't equal getting a blumpkin. Plus, we're semi-retired and I'm faithful to my wife of 10 years.

Come to think of it, maybe I can coerce her into giving me a blumpkin...

this reminds me of the 'corn on the nose' thread

linc

NotoriousEAG
RE: Sex
Reply
8/6/2008 3:28 PM


I can't believe we haven't seen SECTION in this thread yet



NEAG
Not my scene bro. Not really into any kinky shit. Just like banging broads and humping on strippers.

This days I'm lucky to get a BJ from my wife or any kind of sex for that matter.

MENOPAUSE SUCKS BUSTED ASS.

Section, why don't you get a mistress?

Don't you drive a brand new Mercedes?

I'm sure you can afford a new apartment for her downtown...

Fred_Barnett
RE: Sex
Reply
8/6/2008 7:01 PM

Section, why don't you get a mistress?

Don't you drive a brand new Mercedes?

I'm sure you can afford a new apartment for her downtown...


Fred
I was thinking more of a female fuck buddy. My Chevy S-10 is parked in the driveway.

I got busted the other day looking at porn on my computer. Embarrassing to say the least. Lectured for about 5 minutes. I said nothing. If I got caught banging another broad my ball sack will look like John Wayne Bobbitt's dick and my bank account would ZERO POINT ZERO.

I still love my wife but this MENOPAUSE SHIT IS FKN GOD DAMN RIDICOLOUS.

Wait a minute Section.


How do you explain that "stripper smell" all over you pants leg when you get home then?

Fred_Barnett
RE: Sex
Reply
8/6/2008 7:35 PM

Wait a minute Section.


How do you explain that "stripper smell" all over you pants leg when you get home then?


Fred

I almost got canned for that smell about 2 years ago. I came back from an all nighter in south philly and I stunk like a french whore. My friend even said it when we pulled up to the homestead.

Ending up spraying old spice all over my shirt and my pants before entering the crib.

My wife was waiting up for me (2am) so I thought I was fucked. She noticed the smell and I just walked straight upstairs to the shower while she grilled me.

Think she know what I was up to but didn;t bust my balls to much that night.

If I ever cheated on my beautiful wife she would KNOW right away. SHE HAS RADAR and I would be F U C K E D.

Got tickets for two games vs the Marlins in early September. I'll be out and about that week so if you want smoke a doob contact the site and we will see some strippers. I'll keep you posted.

Nice game by FAT BOY tonight. He stepped up.

Excellent.

Fred

My "FREE" Phils tickets (THANK YOU USAF) are for Sep 8th (705pm) and Sep 10th (405pm).

I got 3 "FREE" stubs for each game.

Tickets are in hand.

Let me know if you are in.

Plenty of time....

If not we will catch up later.