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Got a notice for the first time recently, and my reporting day is Wednesday. I find out tomorrow whether I have to show up at all or not.

Anybody have any advice-- I'd really like to make the experience as brief as possible. Feel free to chime in with any good stories as well...

Everyone bitches about Jury Duty like it's some sort of major encumbrance, but if it were your loved one on trial (when innocent) or the victim you would want someone in the jury box as level-headed as you consider yourself (I am speaking in general here, not just to ENY).


I got jury duty a few years back. Ended up getting seated on the first case of the day, an Attempted Murder trial. I actually enjoyed the process. It was about a 4 day trial but with some major breaks, one day we got sprung at 2:30 and happy hour started early that day. Anyway, we convicted the young Urban and went on our merry way.



My advice is to go, don't bitch about it, don't act like it's a major encumbrance (your job is not THAT important), and do your part of the Justice System.



The alternative (if too many Non-Afternoon Nappers find a way out of serving) is a jury like the OJ trial.

Oh, the bonus/story was that as we were being led out of the secure, jury corridor to the elevator we walked right by the Just-convicted lads somewhat rotund mother and were treated to her wails of "Dey takin' ma baybaa"....



Felt bad for the kid, actually. Never found out what he got sentenced to.

In complete contradistinction to what GGB said....

I didn't want to report. Got screwed and called. If you REALLY don't want to participate in any part of it, then just state that you ALWAYS agree with the law regardless of circumstance (like GGB) and the defense attorney will always write you off. You get paid like 16 bucks for wasting your day.

The most telling part of the experience is when you hear the "shit, why me?" when a name is called to be sequestered.

I effin' hated it. It was retarded and the guy next to me was torturing me with details of his Glen Miller album collection. The one "kinda" hot chick was wisely pretending to read a book.

Which reminds me, bring a book. You do nothing for most of the day.

All you have to do is tell them you have several family members in law enforcement and you'll most likely get out of it. My cousin is the chief of police where I live so I've never had to serve on a jury.

Believe me, GGB, I think you of all people especially know very well that I am under no illusions about the importance of my job. I'm just going on what others have told me about the experience, plus jaded from years of my father's descriptions of the process....

By the same token, my dad also stressed how important it is to show up, so I'm not thinking of skipping out or anything. I guess my concern would be getting bogged down in any sort of trial that would take more than that one day or something.

All you have to do is tell them you have several family members in law enforcement and you'll most likely get out of it.

Well, that wouldn't be lying in my case. My mom and dad, combined, have 12 siblings. I have a lot of family members in everything.

I was never asked a single question by either attorney. If you had any sort of personal involvement in the case you had to go all the way to the other side of the court and explain your situation/involvement to the DA, Defense Attorney, and Judge.




People that try to skate out of Jury duty are tools, sorry to say boys.



That said, it would SUCK to get on for long trial where you get sequestered.

I was called several years ago and forgot to show up, so I figured they had me nailed. And years passed with no calls.

Then, after a few years of bouncing between unemployment and menial jobs, I was hired full-time, and I immediately got my notice. I went into the room and waited for about an hour before I was part of a group called into a room for questioning. They never got to me, and they sent everyone back to the main waiting room. After about another hour or two, they called off a bunch of names (mine among them) and sent us home. I was released a little after lunch.

The whole thing was very odd and not at all what I expected. I'm still not even sure why so many of us were released so quickly before anyone ever talked to us.

Bringing a book is good advice. When I went a couple of years ago, you had to turn your cellphone off.

In Philly, cell phones are not allowed in the court room. You have to check them (from what I remember)

I was the foreman on a jury for a murder trial for two young men and I am proud to say we did our job (both guilty).

Let me tell ya, you will have to stiffle laughter several times if you are paying attention. Hearing the 55 year old white detective read a verbatim transcript of the suspect's statement ("He be all like 'I ain't sayin shit to dat motherfucker'")

Anyway, when it came time to convict, I read the guilty verdict, and one of the defendants pointed at me and screamed "YOU CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!"

I just hopped in a cab outside and rolled, feeling satisfied I sent a couple boys "upstate"

The craziest part of my trial was when we read the verdict. We came back in and whereas there previously was like one bailiff/security dude near the defendant, this time there were like f'ing six and they were BIG dudes.


Oh, it was also kinda funny to see the "victim" (an "Urban" drug dealer) come to court all shackled and in an orange jump suit. But you know the story, he got pulled over and someone had left some drugs in his car, they were not his. I hate it when that happens.

Of course. The drugs never belong to them when the lights are in their rear view mirror.

Neag and Glenn-


If those fine young boys didn't get life or execution, well then congratulations!


All you did was send them to College for Criminals.

When then get out, not only will they be hardened, but well schooled in the art of mayhem.


You both should be proud.

Fred,

You forgot... Well Fed.. Free gym facilities while the rest of us pay Golds Gym for the same equipment!

No doubt, BI.


They go in scrawny little kids (or mindless thugs if you prefer), and come out buffed up criminal masterminds with a penchant for revenge.


And it cost the taxpayer $80,000 a year to foot the tuition bill.

How much does Harvard cost?


Again, many thanks to the two esteemed jurors

So the answer is to let them walk. Gotcha. That would make Urban neighborhoods even safer.

No, the answer is to give the "criminally disadvantaged" people something to live for, before they become criminals in the first place.


_{No barb where there usually is one}

Why do they have to be given something? Can't they work for it and earn it?

Obviously BMA, you missed my seminar with the esteemed (and deceased) Professor Byars on "Welfare, Economic Opportunity and Crime".


You may want to check the archives first

Well then give me cliff notes.

"Fred is Insane".


There ya go, it's as if you edited the book.

Well, this is not the discussion I was thinking about, but you get the general idea.


Flesh! Take notes! Professor Barnett is not without substance. Maybe you weren't around for these, i consider them "classic", or at least "old"
click here

You cannot take a cell phone in with you. I dont think you get paid either unless you serve on a jury and most employers will dedcut the amount you get paid from your paycheck. Plan on wasting four hours then going home. ENY probably knows that they want to settle all the cases and not have a jury trial.

AH HA! I found it!


The "intranets" is a beautiful thing.


I think Dubya said that


BTW BMA, bring a lunch. This thread is everlasting.

And again, flesh, take notes on how I copy and paste-


Actually dude, you hurt my feelings with that, I want to show you I'm more than a YouTube Clip and a barb (because more often than not I agree with your posts)...



link

aw.. don't feel bad, fred. i'm just not into links and clips in general. i like the chatter.

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