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That sounds like it would be like reading a script from the Jersey Shore if they actually hired funny people to write their scripts.

It's a cross between a Kensington bar fight, EAG posting in the Philly Crime thread, and a racist daddysly rant.

Actually, it's more like EAG making fun of Eagles fans than him posting in the Philly crime thread.

Ok, here it is. Enjoy. Everything is posted as-is.

Tony
IM TIRED OF WORKING IN THE FUCKING RAINNNNNN
Like • • Tuesday at 3:23pm • Privacy:

Justin likes this.
Max zuba zub zuba zane
Tuesday at 3:28pm • Like
Brian Get a new job
Tuesday at 4:50pm • Like
Tony where lol
Husband Yeah I hear you it fucking blows
Tuesday at 5:06pm • Like
Dev Husband, your wife is hot to trot ?
Tuesday at 5:30pm • Like
Husband I know she is maybe you should have your homicide on air (IHSY note, Dev has a radio show)
Tuesday at 10:28pm • Like
Dev Why so angry pal?
Tuesday at 11:07pm • Like
Husband Because my wife is my life
Wednesday at 5:12am • Like
Husband As you see in the pic
Wednesday at 5:14am • Like
Stacy Whoa everyone calm down!!!!!!!!!!! And Husband please take an English class, your grammer is terrible
Wednesday at 8:17am • Like
Dev Thank you Stacy. You're much hotter than Husband's wife anyway. I love you ?
Wednesday at 10:50am • Like
Husband You can make comments about me all you want but when its toward my wife its a different story I get really deffensive about that. You may feel the same about scacey I don't know if it was a joke I'm sorry and were cool
Wednesday at 4:26pm • Like
Dev Hey it's cool man, I just think your wife is really hot. I'd love to get sloppy sexy with her but she is obviously already taken by a real man other than myself. Think I could smell your fingers some Time???
Wednesday at 4:48pm • Like
Husband Yeah you can smell my fingers lol
Wednesday at 5:20pm • Like
Stacy Do they smell like 3 guys with Shamrock neck tattoos and failure?
Wednesday at 6:06pm • Like
Kenso Wife Wow i feel flattered that all this chit chatting is about me whether positive or negative, however keep my name off your comments especially when the people talking the most shit dont even know me. Thanks
Wednesday at 6:29pm • Like
Daughter Here's a pointer for you Stacy. If you want to disrespect someone about their "grammer" maybe, and might I say this is just a simple suggestion, you should learn how to spell the word grammar. It might just help your insult stick a little better. Better luck next Time, yes?
Wednesday at 7:49pm • Like
Dev hmmmm well hello there Daughter :)
Wednesday at 8:14pm • Like
Stacy Well Kenso Wife looks like that old saying is true. You can take the girl out of Kensington, but not the Kensington out of the girl
Wednesday at 8:26pm • Like
Dev Oh wait, you're from Kensington? Nevermind.
Wednesday at 8:27pm • Like
Dev Hey Husband, she is all yours (and Tyrone's, Leroy's, and Jamal's) buddy.
Wednesday at 8:28pm • Like
Daughter Must be nice to call someone out who comes from Kensington while hiding on Facebook. Your mother must be so proud of that pretty face of yours. Its ashame you won't have that pretty face much longer with the way your insults fly. How old are you? 20 something, yes? Maybe you should grow up and realize that calling people out on a facebook status, makes you look weak, petty, childish, and scared. Matter of fact, Std-acy, i'd watch who you talk to when on facebook, you never know who's fake or real.
Wednesday at 8:34pm • Like
Kenso Wife Wow and I thought my comment was put in a nice way just to end of the conversation however since bitchface Stacy decided to go there bitch you can kiss my ass if you have a problem i will gladly give you my address so you can bring your bitchass over here and I can show you how much Kensington is still in me. You dont know me so I suggest you shut your fucking mouth before you have no teeth in it.
Wednesday at 8:35pm • Like
Stacy I would, but I'm afraid you'd have some goons with Shamrock and Eagles tatoos waiting for me around the corner. You know the ones that are 30, dirty and no shirty :)
Wednesday at 8:37pm • Like
Stacy Oh and btw my ass is 1/16 the size of yours ;)
Wednesday at 8:39pm • Like
Dev Oh Stacy no, don't go anywhere near Kensington. They can tattoo your neck from a hundred miles away.
Wednesday at 8:40pm • Like
Dev Hmmm that ass of yours is sweet Stacy. It would never pop out a pair of kids from 2 different fathers.
Wednesday at 8:41pm • Like
Dev Sorry, I meant to say I love all of God's children ?
Wednesday at 8:42pm • Like
Stacy Thanx Dev your so sweet. I just think you love me though cuz I don't have smoke damage like some people here on this post.
Wednesday at 8:45pm • Like
Dev Be nice Stacy, Tony is a good guy. He means no harm.
Wednesday at 8:47pm • Like
Kenso Wife Sorry dont care i look good obviously or this conversation would have never started so you go with your anorexic ass dont care, however dont need anybody to beat your ass trust me on that one. Tony knows where i live so whenever you feel like you think you have a chance bring it on.
Wednesday at 8:48pm • Like
Stacy I meant Kenso Wife, but yeah you're right. Tony is a great guy.
Wednesday at 8:48pm • Like
Dev Hey Tony, you hear that? I think somebody likes you. Anyway though, Kenso Wife what do you say? Wanna get together and have fun some Time?
Wednesday at 8:50pm • Like
Stacy OK he'll let me know which guy’s apartment you're squatting in on the night I want to come over :)
Wednesday at 8:51pm • Like
Dev ohhhhhh snap!!!
Wednesday at 8:51pm • Like
Tim Hey Tony what's going on here?
Wednesday at 8:56pm • Like
Dev Hey Tim! Whatsup buddy, long Time no see. The only thing going on here is K & A moving into the suburbs.
Wednesday at 8:58pm • Like
Kenso Wife sorry last Time i was squatting it was on top of your man so thats where I will be when you want to come find me
Wednesday at 9:00pm • Like
Kenso Wife And Dev you can go suck a dick I heard your good at it
Wednesday at 9:02pm • Like
Dev I'm her man Kenso Wife, so does that mean you will be squatting on top of me??? Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes......
Wednesday at 9:02pm • Like
Dev Kenso Wife, I love you.
Wednesday at 9:03pm • Like
Daughter Whoa. First off, popping out 2 kids from 2 different fathers? Really though? You're going to bring in something that insults her two kids like that? She has 2 great kids. And she has raised them well. My MOM doesn't need the bullshit that you're spewing. And no don't "Kenso Wife, I love you." You're being a biggot. Stacy, I'm sure you've had so many nights or unremembered, unprotected sex that you're filled to the brim with STDs. Your mother wouldn't be so appreciative. Especially if she saw the dirty, catty, disgraceful things you have said. However, I'm sure its mother like Daughter anyway. Ho's always travel together.
Wednesday at 9:12pm • Like
Daughter Stacy, "ment" is spelled meant. For the record.
Wednesday at 9:13pm • Like
Stacy If you sat on top of anyone Kenso Wife you would break them and half and turn them gay. Go back to blowing knuckle draggers on Kensington Ave. for $10
Wednesday at 9:15pm • Like
Daughter I love how you have NOTHING to say anything to my comments, Stacy. You obviously can't handle a higher level of educated arguments.
Wednesday at 9:17pm • Like
Dev Stacy, what do you mean by knuckle draggers?
Wednesday at 9:17pm • Like
Dev Daughter, for the record it is spelled bigot. But that's ok, I like my girls young and spellingly challenged.
Wednesday at 9:18pm • Like
Kenso Wife Stacy i wouldnt want to take your clientele away from you, thats all yours
Wednesday at 9:20pm • Like
Daughter Clearly, I mean look at your girl, Stacy. I just type angrily when someone has the audacity to insult someones kids. So I may type an extra letter or so. Atleast I know how to spell simple vocabulary. Obviously I'm already better educated.
Wednesday at 9:22pm • Like
Dev Daughter, I'll dump that hoe Stacy for you any day. Forget it Stacy, we're through. Daughter and I are going to live happily ever after.
Wednesday at 9:25pm • Like
Daughter So obviously, Stacys a fake profile. Dev, you're a fake profile. Let's give up the charade, yes? Because whoever is hiding behind cyber walls, might just have a serious wake up call soon.
Wednesday at 9:27pm • Like
Husband You touch my wife or my stepdaugher. You will have a switch blade against your throat
Wednesday at 9:34pm • Like
Husband And what do you know a german switch blade
Wednesday at 9:35pm • Like
Husband Is Stacy your blow up doll
Wednesday at 9:41pm • Like
Stacy Hey Daughter I'm real, real hot and tight unlike your mother, and Husband I just called my lawyer and emailed him the transcript of what you just said. Switch blade against my throat is a threat and I won't take it lightly
Wednesday at 9:53pm • Like
Stacy I also called the police and sent them a transcript of your comments. Nothing will happen though. I heard you're so dumb they might try you as a juvenile.
Wednesday at 9:54pm • Like
Dev All this killing talk is turning me on hardcore.
Wednesday at 9:57pm • Like
Stacy Of course the queen of Kensington Kenso Wife has to let her inner white ghetto out and ruin a innocent comment that Tony made and turn this into a lower bucks shit show. Go vomit the cum of all the black men you blew today honey, take an oxy, and rub your tribal tattoo. You know you have one sweety :) Good night slut face
Wednesday at 9:58pm • Like
Husband It wasn't toward you
Wednesday at 10:02pm • Like
Husband Shows how much you pay attention
Wednesday at 10:04pm • Like
Kenso Wife Obviously i am still on your mind i am so flattered that a stuck up snobby ass bitch is still thinking of me awww so sweet. Go choke on your dildo bitch and die.
Wednesday at 10:18pm • Like
Dev Can't we all just get along???
Wednesday at 10:22pm • Like
Husband I'm very smart I'm a private pilot. Only a handful of ppl have the capability to fly a plane
Yesterday at 5:42am • Like
Stacy Hey Husband you have no college eduacation, no clue that your wife is fucking half of the silverbacks in North Philly, and no job working as a pilot. Keep telling yourself that you ra ra retard
Yesterday at 6:09pm • Like
Kenso Wife You know what bitch you must really feel.pretty low about your self that you have to put other people down and no life obviously because you have plenty of Time to spend doing it until you actually have the balls to.come say.this shit to my face go fuck yourself your nothing but a shit talking cum gozzling piece of shit
Yesterday at 6:37pm • Like
Stacy I bet you sat at home all day, smoking Newports, collecting SSI, and checking this every five minutes to see if I would respond. Just can't resist that NE Philly drama can ya cunt face. I'll let you get back to blowing Tyrone and using his Free Mumia shirt to wipe it off your face. I'm sure his big black member is the only thing that takes the pain away when you can't get your chubby little finger around a Mickey's 40 or an Oxy. :)
Yesterday at 6:45pm • Like
Mike I went on this thread to bust Tony's balls about posting like a 16-year-old girl (Rain only ends in one N, dude. Also, the emphasis is on the A and/or the I) and I found an epic thread for the ages. Wow.
Yesterday at 6:46pm • Like
Tim I feel the same way Mike. I bought Phillies playoff tickets yesterday, and watching this drama unfold was 10 Times more exciting. I hope it doesn't stop.
Yesterday at 6:50pm • Like
Husband We both have real jobs and make a descent living and were both very smart. You don't even know us. So fuck off cunt
Yesterday at 7:19pm • Like
Husband Your the one unfolding the drama Tim
Yesterday at 7:22pm • Like
Tim What the hell are you talking about asshole? Two random people start shit and I get blamed for it. Go eat a bag of dicks you mumble mouthed ass. Don't yell fire when there's not one.
Yesterday at 7:27pm • Like
Husband I'm not dumb I know its you I wanted to fight you from the moment I met you your a ignorant pric
Yesterday at 8:10pm • Like

So the profiles were from Tim or Tony? Why didn't they just block them from posting?

Because Tony decided it was funny. He hates the Kenso wife, as well.

I forgot to mention he's the type of person who really doesn't care if he makes himself look bad by leaving this stuff on his wall. His poor mom already scolds him all the time for posting stupid shit on facebook and she has to be embarrassed that her son actually elects to spend his free time with these people. I only referred to him as an innocent third party because the genius Kenso blames him for this whole thing, even though he didn't make one inflammatory comment.

Still, the guy is a fucking dope for refusing to take this down. If this were on my wall, I would be terrified of who was looking at it and associating me with it. Then again, I have a lot more to lose than he does.

"It's restaurant week....anyone in town wanna grab lunch this Thurs or Friday?"




Wow, it's as if this person never even heard of the danger of flash mobs.

NTFF!!

"I just think you love me though cuz I don't have smoke damage like some people here on this post."

"Smoke damage" is my favorite River Ward slang term

And IHSY, come on, it's spelled "Kenzo"

This really makes me wish I understood the Kensington stereotype better. Can some of the transplanted Philadelphians now living in "The City" compare it to some place a guy from Long Island would know??

I always thought it was just another NE Philadelphia neighborhood.

It's not a NE neighborhood, it is a River Ward along w Port Richmond and Fishtown. Formerly a white working class place that was overrun by Puerto Ricans. The white holdouts are usually dirtballs with shamrock tattoos on their necks (Sham-neckers)

I figured it was spelled with an s because of how the area is spelled.

You can also tell by the accent and vocabulary. Lots of jawns, come auwns, and double negatives.

Yikes, then that's not far from where my mom lived as a kid. Thanks...

Where did your mom grow up?

Well, she "grew up" on Tasker Street in South Philly but my grandparents moved to that area when she was a teenager. It's either Bridesburg or Port Richmond, depending on who you ask.

Did she know guys with shamrock tattoos on their necks?

K and N are right next to B and L on keyboard. Easy typo.

Did she know guys with shamrock tattoos on their necks?

If so, she never invited any of them to visit my childhood home(s).

"Never lie, steal, cheat or drink.
But if you must lie. Lie in the arms of the one you love.
If you must steal. Steal away from bad company.
If you must cheat. Cheat death.
And if you must drink. Drink in the moments, that take your breath away."

How the hell did Confucianism let this one slip through the cracks?

Happy Anniversary to my best friend, my soul mate, and the one of the best people i've ever met! I love you so much and couldn't imagine my life without you!! Spending forever with you, is a dream come true

Fri(END), Boyfri(END), Girlfri(END), Bestfri(END), everything has an 'END' except for Fam(ILY) !! It has 'I Love You'.

I've become a human-lard-factory! It's true: I've now got myself a baby in the business of fat-collection, which I'll have to tolerate since it's critical to keep my little porker warm and healthy after they're born. Also: their eyes can now blink in response to light and dark, and their bone marrow is making red blood cells...

Are those three separate ones?

Eagles beat writer Reuben Frank had the best post of the day:

"I really care about your fantasy football league. So please tell me all about it. Every detail please. No, really."

"Top Gun made Charlie Sheen the star he deserved to be.. i love him as Maverick.?"

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives. I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished, so I have managed to finish off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how bludy fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u blody luvum!!! ;)

"FYI people- I am at war with the Norway Rat in my compost pile. Stay out of my back yard! It is a dangerous place to be right now. Peace Out."

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